Friday, January 16, 2009

about "love"

I tend to take issue with the way this word is bandied about, by others and myself. It's something that's on my mind often and has of late been almost overwhelmingly so. This is partly to do with the environment in which I work. A couple of weeks ago, for staff training in a class on Co-dependency, I was assigned to write a reflection on the quote:

"Attachment is the great fabricator
of illusions;
reality can be attained only by someone
who is detached."

-Simone Weil

The reflective essay is due on Wednesday, I've yet to write it. I have however, written some sort of poem things.

If you love me,
don't say that you will change for me.
Don't do it for me.
If you do, you'll expect something in return,
and I may not want to give it.
Then, you'll focus on the disappointment of me
and fail to see what you've achieved.
When you change for yourself, you can be happy with the results
and freely choose
with whom you wish to share them.
Then you have a gift to give. A free gift
(because that's what gifts are).
If you choose to share with me,
Thank you.

* * *

Let's try this;
I will say, "I love you"
and not wait for you to repeat it
You will hear "love"
not as a claim of ownership
nor sign of increasing expectations
just a word
expressing that to me you are:
a treasure-
of priceless value,
of infinite mystery-
a dear friend
a constant challenge
a lot of fun
your own, not mine
Let's try this;
"I love you."

* * *

I do not want to fall in love.
"Hopelessly in--"
"Helplessly in--"
Hopeless? Helpless? No, thank you.

I do not want to disappear into,
to get lost in someone,
nor for them to lose themselves in me--
or find themselves there for that matter.

I want to walk
wide-open-eyed to love,
to walk deciding everyday
that the other is the one I want most to be beside.

* * *

I could walk away from you
you could walk away from me
but you've chose for now that you will be
walking next to me


Bobby Jones said...

Amy Nee, these poems are amazing

Thank you for sharing.

azuree said...

amy, i freely love you! these are wonderful.

i'm always so happy to read your posts. your reflections are so refreshing.

come live in chicago please.

a.e. nee said...

bobby: thank YOU

azuree: i love you too (and I'm not just saying that because I feel like I have to!)