This morning I didn’t wake up until it was light outside (that is, aside from when I woke up to let Sheila out). That doesn’t happen very often. At first I felt a little bad about this in that it implied laziness, lack of enthusiasm; something of that ilk. It was too late to go to the Catholic church, St. Clare’s, and I’d already determined to not go to the Vineyard. “Perhaps I won’t go to church today,” I thought. The Pinnacles were beckoning. “Perhaps I’ll just spend some time in meditation and study. I’ll have some alone-time.” (As if spending a weekend with no one else at home did not suffice in cultivating my proclivity toward loneliness). I’ve been wrestling with the idea of giving up on several different things-Sheila, work, Kentucky, religion, myself, hope in relationships-reaffirming in my own mind the inclination to believe that I am at heart a quitter. At Healing Rain we’ve no tolerance for negative self-talk and I try to apply this to myself as well. What is this feeling doing for you is it getting you what you want? “Pick a church and go to it, ya goon.” Close enough.
I’ve been thinking about a Lutheran church that Michael had told me about when I first moved here and he thought I was Episcopalian.
In the “What We Believe Section” of
it speaks of the end,
and does not lie.
If it seems to tarry, wait for it;
it will surely come, it will not delay.
Look at the proud!
Their spirit is not right in them,
but the righteous live by their faith.”
Habakkuk 2:3-4 from today’s reading.
William Penn said, “The adventure of the Christian life is to do what we would not dare attempt without Christ,” (or something to that effect). Most things that are expected of me are not things that I am naturally inclined toward attempting. But oh how I love an adventure, and oh how Jesus Christ (wonderful mystery) loves me.